While writing this post, I decided to give you a bit of insight into this series, so you’re prepared. In truth, Joshua and I barely crossed paths until we met in the fall of 2013 (almost 3 years ago, now). So any memories that I remember and will write down, until that point in 2013, will reveal that our encounters are like mere ships passing in the wide open ocean. So, here continues the short portion of our story…..
High School: I barely remember seeing that cutie pie two times. Once in a Junior Spanish class, but I was transferred out, and then a couple of instances where I “tried-to-snap-a-pic-together” thing, cause he was Class Handsome and I was just plain old me. I don’t even think we had classes in the same hallway at the same time, or even took the same paths to get to those classes. Way to go, Lord! 😉 I do remember one time where I tagged along with a friend to MacBap youth group. I think it was a Valentine’s Day bible study of some sort, and everyone got to dress up and there were rumors that you got paired up with dates for the night. When we arrived, I was feeling fresh and fine, and ready to brine! Joshua, by far, was the youngest and cutest guy there. I fell right into the destiny of the single girl there and hoped with all my might that he’d by my date!!! I extra fluffed my hair, extra applied my lip gloss, and tried to pull up and pooch out “the girls” *wink wink*, and every other female allure in the book that I could pull, apply, fluff, and smooth out. In the end, the girls and guys were paired up backwards by age! So, as the youngest girl there, I got paired with the oldest guy there. Ironically, my date was Juicy! LOL! But I now acknowledge and accept that Juicy was in fact the best and most valued choice of the group!! ;P (That’s for you, Juice-Box! If you ever read this!) ;P
Fast forward to one more memory I have. This was a very important point for me. Joshua was a very popular, known, and pretty cool guy. He is naturally a social butterfly and has that one little thing that you just can’t put your finger on, but has a powerful quality of value and attraction. It seemed like he had friends everywhere, and cruised through making and keeping friends like skates on ice. This belief fueled one last encounter in high school that changed the path of our relationship. A friend of mine drove the two of us to Orange Park to see a movie together as a girl’s night. Our movie didn’t start for a while and it had been out for a few weeks, so we decided to wait to buy our tickets. We hit up Books-A-Million to chill while we waited. To my pleasure, there was a group of guys from school hanging out in the manga aisle. Joshua was among them. He was a neat guy (who was also super cute), and we had only crossed paths at this point maybe two times, as previously listed, so I decided to approach the wolf pack. Maybe, with some, luck, and grace from God, I could jump the bandwagon and hang out with these guys! Plus, he’s cute. If I hadn’t mentioned that already. 😉 But alas, a stone was thrown into the cogs of my plans, because I think, maybe, he never even saw or acknowledged me at all the night. I spoke to the group and shared a few laughs, but my presence paled in comparison to his thoughts which were at that point, probably about a mile or two away. An extremely cute girl joined the group and later on, between manga books and goodbyes for the night, disappointment hit me and I gave up for what would be a very, very long time. Disappointment came in the form of a few seconds. I can see it if I close my eyes, I am behind the two, and I can see his face smiling, eyes drifting from her face, down her arm and to her hand which he takes in his, laces their fingers, and adds a little swing to their joined hands to add a lighthearted comfort to an awkward first hand-hold. I think I just stopped walking and my friend and I went home.
See, for every yes, there is a no. When you say yes to something, you automatically say no to something else. For example, when I said “yes” on my wedding day, that automatically meant that I was to have no other husbands or lovers in my life. Witnessing his yes to her flipped a light switch. He was one of a few guys that I could have liked in school and would have dated if given the chance, but this was different, somehow. Maybe not now, but then, it was different. His “I like you” that radiated from his face to her, meant that his opposing “I don’t like you” had been for me. No one was at fault and it wasn’t really that dramatic (I’m a theatre nerd, ok?! I have to inject a Shakespearean pulse at some point!). But it was one of a few moments that contributed to a wall of insecurity that would thicken, only to be broken down on June 18, 2016, nearly ten or eleven years later. Like I said in my last post, it could have been anybody.
Post High School: So, at this point in the story, I believe we are graduated and the only time I saw Joshua was at Rock the Universe in Orlando one summer, where our youth groups hung out with one another, but this time, I didn’t hang around. I didn’t make an attempt to befriend. We may have chatted for a moment while watching a rock band play, but not to my surprise and actually to my expectation, his group was pulled away. And there ends our meetings within the course of five or six years.
The next chapter is a wonderful chapter, as it will chronicle the beginning of us. It will surely crack you up, too! 😉 Thanks for reading and remember to check out my links below to learn more about my ministry and ventures. Be blessed! 🙂